Primary Times - the definitive what’s on and where to go family guide of activities and events for children of primary school age. Things to do with your kids during the school holidays including arts and craft activities, music and theatre for children, parties, competitions, days out, and family attractions along with term time drama schools, dance classes, after school clubs and sports activities. Things to do at a place near you!
Cyberbullying
By Carolyn Bunting, General Manager of Internet Matters
The phrase ‘sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me’ has long been used as a mantra to cope with bullies.
And more often than not, children recited it in a bid to psyche themselves up to return to the playground and face their tormenter.
But as adults, we can acknowledge it doesn't drown out insults and hurtful comments can be impossible to ignore.
Not to mention, the opportunity for kids to escape bullies has lessened as a result of the digital age - as research has shown an increase in use of social media by primary school children.
A recent study by Internet Matters* revealed 44% of six-year-olds are going online in their bedroom with 26% of them using social media apps.
As parents, we need to adapt to potential online dangers that our children may face including cyberbullying.
With the increased number of young children owning smartphones, we need to face up to the fact bullying has changed and recognise constant communication means hurtful comments can go beyond the school gates.
A study by Internet Matters* last year, showed three in five (62%) parents are concerned about cyberbullying but only 32% said they talked to their children about it.
Parents must arm themselves with the tools to tackle cyberbullying should it arise and a conversation is the first step.
May half-term provides the perfect opportunity to talk to your child so you can be clear on what they can and can’t do. Set boundaries on how much time they spend online and set times when they can access their mobile phone or tablet to avoid spending too much time alone.
The best way to find out what they’re getting up to online is to ask them. Discuss what sites they like to visit and talk to them about the importance of being a good friend online.
If you have older children talk to them about what apps they are using, use half-term to have a sit down conversation about what your younger child may want to use online and encourage siblings to pass down advice on internet safety.
And as a preventative measure, ensure you have the correct parental controls set up so they can’t access sites that are too old for them or too advanced. Set up a user account for your child on the device they are using and make sure other devices without parental controls are password protected.
If you do suspect cyberbullying, use half-term to observe your child’s behaviour and look out for signs.
Watch out for your child getting nervous or twitchy when a message appears, avoiding socialising or getting angry or frustrated after going online.
If you do notice unusual behaviour, having a conversation is key - so that your child doesn’t suffer in silence.
Put yourself in their shoes; what would they want you to do? Give your full emotional support and let them know they can trust you. Having open discussions will allow them to feel like they can open their online world to you and show you any concerns they have about any issue they should face in years to come.
Ask them not to reply - A cyberbully, like a playground bully, needs a reaction and without one they have less of a chance of success. It will only make them feel more powerful if your child responds.
Keep the evidence - Make a written record of everything that’s happened or take screen grabs from your child’s device. The more evidence you get, the easier you can resolve the situation.
Block the bully - Social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram have a built-in tools to block anyone who is causing you grief online by sending you nasty messages. Remove them from their ‘friends’ list and block their calls and messages.
Although tempting to take their smartphones away from them, shutting down social media accounts, or stopping your children from going online may not be helpful. The internet is where young people explore, create and express themselves and is a critical part of their social lives. We therefore advise parents not to confiscate their technology or ban social media, and it could also make them less likely to ask for help in the future due to fears they will have their devices taken away.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to get help. In particular, if the issue is related to school friends, report the issue to the school, there are also a number of counselling helplines, for both children and parents, who will be able to help.
For comprehensive resources and advice on how to deal with cyberbullying visit internetmatters.org/cyberbullying
**Survey of 1500 parents by Opinion Leader on behalf of Internet Matters - September 2016