Time to Tidy Up
If only life could imitate one of the storybooks where the clinical cleaning fairy waves her sparkling crystal wand lightly over the errant child’s messy 
bedroom and, as only happens in magic, all becomes sparkling clean in less time than it takes to say ‘Disney’. We know it doesn’t work like that. The reality is a regular chorus of “Clean up your room”; “Can you tidy up after yourself?”; “Don’t leave pens on the floor”; “Don’t leave your dirty socks on the kitchen table”. Mums and dads have given up appealing to the fairies…They know, naturally, that there is only one real option– DIY – Do It Yourself. With a big dose of help from the children, of course!
So, here’s a challenge. How can we get the children, with a minimal amount of nagging, to tidy up after themselves?
Well, it’s worth knowing that children aren’t inherently messy. They just get easily distracted and find play activities far more interesting. Finding ways to make tidying more fun and manageable at a young age could manifest an eventual positive habit they will carry with them through life.
Help them learn to tidy up
It’s enough to leave you breathless, watching a toddler enter a room and within 10 minutes leave it looking as if a forceful whirlwind has swished on by. Yet, as the years creep by, from the age of four, if you help and show them how to do it, most children have some ability to tidy up. If someone else always tidies up after them, children will not learn how to do it for themselves. To help them understand how to do it, you will need to spell out exactly where different items belong, such as the books on the shelves or the toys into the box. By sharing the task, you can divide chores and share responsibility, so your child won’t feel overwhelmed by clearing away a mountain of toys on his or her own.
Explain what you want them to do
Ordering commands seems to work with some children while others are simply immune to this form of discipline. If a child is whinging, ignore the complaints and calmly and specifically explain what you want them to do.
If your child refuses to budge, go over and show him or her how to start, breaking the tasks into small parts. Keep ignoring the complaints and keep persevering until your child helps.
Set a good example
Children will learn from watching the family, so be aware: some messy family members may have an influence. Set a positive example by looking after your belongings and make sure that your child can watch you tidy up after yourself. If you explain what you are doing, and why you are doing it, the child is more likely to understand the purpose of clearing items away.
Choose your time wisely…
Before asking for help with the tidying, try to wait for natural breaks in your child’s play, such as at meal times or when you are getting ready to go out. To motivate slightly older children, you can schedule a tidy up session before an outing or before a favourite programme comes on TV. If you want speedy results, another option is to run a clear-up competition. Set the timer and see how many toys can be packed away before the alarm rings.
It certainly helps to give your child prior warning that they will be expected to tidy up soon and to add something for them to look forward to, to motivate them.
Praise your child’s efforts
Always specifically praise your child’s efforts. Acknowledge what they have achieved in helping with chores with commendation such as “Holly, you’ve stacked the books very neatly on the shelf”. Of course, rewarding good behaviour with treats will always be welcomed.
Provide easy storage
Where possible, buy containers, boxes, low open shelves or clear plastic bins that are easy to reach. Clear containers will allow a child to see what he or she wants without spilling the entire contents on the floor. The containers can be decorated with stickers or designs from the children to highlight what type of toy should go in each container. Pop up ‘Tidies’ can store an enormous amount, and are easily stored away, whilst art boxes or old washing tablet boxes are ideal for storing pens, crayons and pencils. Pens have a habit of being left without their lids on, so encourage your child to place the lids back as part of the tidy up process.
Clear the clutter
It’s inevitable that children will outgrow their things, so once every year or so, plough your way through the toys, along with your child, to decide what they want to keep and what they want to get rid of. Old toys usually sell well at car boot sales, especially on the run up to Christmas, so your child could earn a nice little profit to go and buy…well, yes... more toys!
Tidying up is a habit that, with some positive guidance, children can learn quite easily. And for the restoration of your living space it’s worth the persistence.
Kirsty Woodgate
