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Modern Parenting
If you are lucky enough not to fall straightaway, after a while you will finely tune this balancing act. But before you know it, your children will grow. And as they get bigger, you have to start finding the perfect balance all over again. That is what being a parent feels like to everybody - not just to you. More challenging than a commando obstacle course: more rewarding than an Olympic gold medal.
Demands on parents
These days the pressure to be a perfect parent feels enormous, no matter what the personal circumstances are. Research by Schering* found that '91% of mothers feel constantly under the spotlight and constantly under pressure to do the right things'. Many parents feel stretched to their limit, juggling their hectic lifestyles to accommodate increased hours at work, demands from children and partners, and continuous domestic duties. There are just not enough hours in the day. Managing time to complete daily tasks needs to be reviewed fairly frequently to put things in perspective. What is really more important at 8pm, ironing your clothes or reading your child a bedtime story?
Working Patterns
Perhaps the most significant change in parenting patterns is the shift towards fair work practice for people who have young children. With flexible working hours, improved childcare provision and a longer allowance for maternity and paternity leave, the work option is certainly more desirable than it used to be. Besides, in our hedonistic society we are becoming used to  owning two cars, taking trips abroad and pursuing our hobbies with enthusiasm. All this comes at a price! And don't forget the cost of children's recreation doesn't come cheap, either. It's the pursuit of these luxuries that drive parents out to work - to afford life's 'little extras' for their children. Great news for kids. They get involved in a variety of experiences and are encouraged to pursue a whole host of extracurricular activities. Interestingly, in the research conducted by Schering*, 67% of the mums asked said their children do more activities, such as sport, music and dance - than they did when they were young. And the research also found that 44% of women in full-time employment believe they spend more quality time with their children than their own mums did with them. So, it seems that the focus for many working parents is quality rather than quantity time.
Parents who decide to stay at home forfeit the extra income in favour of 'being there' for the children and partner. This can be hugely challenging, especially in an increasing parent work-orientated culture. Equally, it can be hugely rewarding. Nothing can replace watching your child grow and develop.
If you work, you could consider the following:
Check with your employer to see if he or she will consider flexible working hours or job share.
Look at available childcare options. For more information visit www.childcarelink.gov.uk or call the Children's Information Service on 0845 602 1125.
If you have been out of work for a short while and wish to return, e are New Deal schemes to guide you back. To find out more, visit www.newdeal.gov.uk. In addition, there are schemes designed especially for lone parents.
If you are working, you may be able to get some financial help wards meeting childcare costs. Working Tax Credit includes an element to help with the cost of childcare. To find out more call the Tax Credits Helpline on 0845 300 3900
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No Man (or Woman!) is an Island:
The dirty dishes need washing, the overgrown lawn needs mowing, poorly  children need to be looked after - these are issues that any parent faces, and it can be especially difficult to get the balance right. Sharing the household chores and childcare with your partner is fair, but if you both work, who should take a day off to look after a sick child or who should clean the house? Be realistic. Look at the dynamics of the relationship. Who is the main breadwinner and who is able to do the lion's share of the daily chores? Portion out the workload fairly, be it in the home or office.
Looking after yourself
As parents, we tend to spend most our time looking after our family's needs and forget our own! Well you can't run on empty for long and taking time out is vital for both your happiness and your sanity!
Help yourself:
Treat yourself to some of that precious 'me' time. Plan into your weekly schedule time to do things you enjoy, as well as time for rest and relaxation.
Reward yourself by having a lie-in, soaking in a bath full of aromatic salts, going for a swift run in the local park or meeting up with a good friend for a cuppa. You'll be surprised at how the small things count towards your general wellbeing.
Join a club - be it sport or social orientated. Just getting away from the home to be surrounded by adults can make all the difference.
Stop being so hard on yourself. The perfect parent doesn’t exist; just do the best you can.
* Schering Healthcare Modern Motherhood Survey 2005.
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