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“Sweater, n: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” Ambrose Bierce
It’s that special time of year when I get my breakfast in bed with the Sunday papers and a lovely cup of tea - aaah ….. it must be Mother’s Day !
But what does being a Mum really mean to you?
It’s not something you probably think about much on a daily basis but I think it’s quite important so grab a cup of coffee and a pen and have fun writing out a job description for the vacancy of being a Mum and don’t leave anything out!
- Think of the days per week
- Think of the number of years
- Think of the training you get
- Think of the jobs you have to do
- Think of the skills you need
- Now write out your job description
Did what you wrote surprise you? Would you still apply!!
Being a Mum is a full time job whether you are a single, working or stay at home Mum. It is a busy, frenetic, relentless world full of school runs, making dinners and juggling commitments.
So just stop for a moment and ask yourself:
- If you could wave a magic wand what 3 things would you like to change?
- What would be different in your life if these problems were gone?
- How could you make a start on making these things begin to happen - what would you need to do or say?
- What small tasks could you delegate this week that would free up a little more of your time and help you feel less stressed? (e.g. get the kids to lay the table, bring down their washing basket or feed the dogs)
- Who else could you ask to help you? (Your partner, mother-in-law, or friend and who else could you bring in to help you with the cleaning, ironing or babysitting?)
- What would be the benefits to you and your family as a whole if you delegated and shared out some of your jobs and responsibilities?
- How could you encourage your family to become more independent and what would they learn from becoming more independent long term?
- What will happen if you don’t make some changes?
One of the key things that seems to slip by when you have kids is “me” time and I encourage all the parents I work with, to find some more “me” time as it replenishes your energy, re-charges your batteries, so you don’t run on empty, and lifts your spirit.
You children will reap the benefits of seeing you happier, more fulfilled and living a more balanced lifestyle.
 So take a look at this wheel and fill out things you’d like to do with your new free time: run at a hot luxurious bubble bath with scented candles and soak in it with your favourite music drinking a glass of wine, go for a long walk, meet up with a friend for a chat, watch a romantic film?
Just relax and enjoy thinking about some lovely things you would enjoy doing and write them down without feeling guilty. Then you could choose to do one thing every day or each week and pop it in your diary so it won’t get hijacked. Now you will have something to look forward to!
Being a Mum is an honour, pleasure and a joy but it can also become exhausting, stressful and overwhelming if you don’t make a habit of looking after yourself too.
So this Mother’s Day relax, have fun and feel pampered but make a commitment to yourself to finding more “me” time throughout this year.
Have a great day!
Sue Atkins is a Parent Coach and former Deputy Head teacher with 22 years teaching experience and Mum of two teenage children. She has written many books on self esteem, toddlers and teenagers and has a collection of Parenting Made Toolkits available from her website. She is also the author of "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the black and yellow series published worldwide and available from all good bookshops. For more information and to sign up to receive her monthly newsletter packed full of useful tips and helpful ideas go to www.positive-parents.com
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